You are the first person they share the news with.My daughter knows who her father is and loves him so much, it hurts her every time he walks out the door because he stays away for months and months at a time, till recently he married the other woman and has kids with her so he gave up on my daughter which she knows even though she is only 7 years old. My daughter's father abandoned us before she was born for a home wrecker who knew he was married and about to have a baby but didn't care, he sees her hardly at all, he visits her secretly because if the woman finds out then she starts problems with me or threatens him (so he forces me to never say he's around at all). All I feel when I think of my father is abandonment and pain. My friends on Facebook are posting pics of their fathers when they were young, but I have no picture to share, no memories. Amazing that he lived all those years and never tried to contact me. He would have been about 91 when he died. My father had a very unique name, and about a year ago, when doing a people finder search for him online, the search showed that he was deceased. I never got married because not only did I not know what to look for in a man of character, I felt that if my own father didn't love me, no man would. I'm 62 now and throughout my life, every time I've listened to people speaking lovingly about their fathers, it's been like a knife to my heart. There are no words to describe the hurt I have felt my entire life due to that decision. My father walked out of mine and my mother's lives when I was two years old. She asked me, 'Why are you so nice to me?' It is really painful what abandoned children go through mentally. I cry every day because of my selfish acts. We started communicating, and she doesn't know that she is talking to her father because the Facebook page I am using is not mine. How is she doing? Does she have everything she needs? Does she miss me? Does her stepfather treat her well, etc.? I searched social media for some time but couldn't find her.

To cut the long story short, as she grew up, the pain of missing her multiplied. I got carried away in my new relationship, etc. There was no day that passed that I never thought of her, but I never tried to contact her because I didn't want to talk to her mum as that would cause me trouble with my new love who is now my wife. She convinced him to stop sending my son and me cards and money for birthdays and holidays. She wore the pants in their relationship, and he went along with whatever she said or did, which included abandoning his first family.

Part of his rejection of my son and me is due to his wife. He also rejected my son, his grandson, which has hurt him deeply. His lifelong rejection of me is still very painful and profound. He never answered my letters or phone calls. I only wanted and wished he loved me, too. I don't begrudge my father's love for her. He thought the world of her while disregarding me, his biological daughter. He was always there for her and bragged about her. He remarried and embraced his wife's daughter as his own. My parents split up when I was 18 months old. It may seem strange, but I still yearn for my father's love and acceptance, which I never received. He recently passed away before Christmas 2017. I will never forget what he has done to us all. My older sister and he are as close as any usual father and daughter. Now even though he is an old man, he choose his one child and favored her over us all. He would favor one of us but ignore the others, and he knew what he was doing. He would ignore me as though I wasn't there, and he played us off against each other. My mum was the best though, strong and determined, yet lonely and alone and I saw her tears when no one else did. This hurt and rejection leaves you vulnerable and damaged. Wanting answers, trying to understand why he couldn't love you.

Seems though that anyone who has felt the same raw emotions as Miss Smith will always be haunted by the dad who never loved them. Very descriptive, so heartfelt that it stirred emotions in me that I thought were laid to rest.

Im still in love with you boy